NASCARnal Affairs

Based on the title of this, I know what you are thinking... "What does NASCAR have to with football?" Like most of you, I normally don't waste my time with such silly things like NASCAR, but it is because I love football so much that I feel that I must write this post about NASCAR.

When I turn on the TV, the first channel I turn to ESPN (followed immediately by ESPN 2). I am always excited to see what is going on in the world of sports. However, when I see a bunch cars racing around a circular track, all excitement dies. I am even more devastated when I see it on Sunday instead of NFL games!

ESPN should not taint its prestigious name by affiliating with NASCAR. I'm sure that even the NASCAR fans would happy with ESPN dropping them. ESPN is so out of touch with NASCAR. The only people who like NASCAR are southerners, and everyone knows that southerners' priorities are football, God, and NASCAR in that order. I bet even Dale Earnhardt Jr. knows that NASCAR is second fiddle to football, yet ESPN still shows races on Sundays. To further this argument, I saw a recent NASCAR commercial made by ESPN. Do you know what music was playing? No, it was not an 80s monster ballad, but a Euro-techno-crap song! Seriously ESPN? You're not appealing to a wider audience with that, you're alienating an already slim following.

The solution to this problem is simple. ESPN needs to drop NASCAR and renegotiate their contract with the NFL to start showing Sunday games. NASCAR could create its own network much like Texas did. Those who actually want to watch NASCAR on TV will subscribe to the network. Another benefit of this would be that companies could advertise their product through commercials instead of every inch of the driver's suit and car. NASCAR drivers would look less whimpy.

ESPN... Save us from NASCARnal affairs!